Energy-work and Cancer

In this article I share my experiences with clients who have cancer. I introduce you to Crystal who I work with at the moment.

Does energy-work help cancer patients?

I started working with people with cancer in 2013. My friend Lucy had lymphatic cancer. It was bad. When she asked me to work with her I told her that I was afraid to make things worse. She looked at me sternly and said: “Come on. Get a grip I don´t expect any miracles. I am sure you can help me and I know you won´t hurt me.”

She was right. Working with her was like working with any other client. I did the same: I offered energy and she used it. It was just as rewarding. She died a year later.

I am grateful to her that she helped me to get rid of the limitation I had set myself. She helped me to realise that people with cancer are just like everyone else. They call the shots. They know that I can´t produce any miracles.

Since then I have supported other cancer patients. Mostly people I knew before they got sick. It seems to be easier to do energy-work when you have already established some trust.

Who I don´t work with

I refuse to work with clients who do not want to employ conventional medicine even though their beliefs tell another story. Sadly we are experts at tricking ourselves. That can have dire consequences when we deal with serious diseases.

Crystal´s journey

I met Crystal in 2012 when we visited a common friend in New England. Three years later we came back and she invited us to park our motorhome in front of her house. This way we got to know each other better. Since then we have been staying in touch.

Crystal is a talented artist. She has two children and three grandchildren she adores. She has worked hard all her life to put her husband and her children through university. She is of retirement age but has to earn money because she was not able to build a financial safety cushion for herself. She was always there for others.

In the beginning of January 2021 she went to the hospital with the flue. There she was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma. The disease was wreaking havoc with her T-Cells.

At that point, she calls this moment “grace”, she could see her choice clearly: She could either die soon or she could stay and change her life completely. At that moment there was no emotion, just clarity.  She chose to stay knowing fully well that it wouldn´t be easy and that the outcome was unsure.

Did I really want to work with Crystal?

Before I contacted Crystal I took three weeks to evaluate whether I really wanted to get involved.

  • Could I stand it to see her suffering?
  • Would I be able to cope when she died?

How could I support Crystal?

My idea was to offer an open ear when she had a bad day. She was a very positive person. But even a positive person has ups and downs. The plus was that I was neither family nor a close friend. I was able to see the bigger picture.

We talked about her situation. She confessed that she had a hard time accepting my offer. She was so used to doing everything on her own. But she knew that this time she needed a support system.

We started with energy-work

We dicovered we were a good fit and enjoyed working together. We were very open about everything. That was very helpful with figuring out our process.  

Crystal´s journey

After her decision she acted immediately. She was admitted to a study of three months of chemotherapy three days a week. This shaped her life.

She was very creative in employing the chemo as her helper against the malignant T-Cells. She used crystals to instruct her body not to enact the side effects. She continued to get better.

Looking at causes

It was important for her to look at the roots of her illness. She had already figured out a lot. She knew that massive trauma in her childhood was the cause. She did not know all the details yet.

Trauma produces toxic energy

Everybody understands that a bad childhood can scar you for life. I have only recently realised how pervasive trauma is. Even though many people forget all about it – to survive – the effects shape the lives of the victims.

Crystal´s childhood

She practically raised herself and her sister. Her childhood consisted of abuse and beatings. She moved out when she was sixteen and put herself through high school on her own. She was very successful in her professional work.

Our energy-work

She found out that her mother tried to abort her. I had the feeling that more happened when Crystal was very young. I asked her to go back into her early childhood and try to imagine what could have happened.

She got devastating images: When she was a few months old her mother had tried to suffocate her with her bare hands. She even remembered her mother´s ring hurting her neck during the incident. The mother only stopped because she was afraid of possible consequences.

This was hard to process. But it explained feeling alone and not wanted all her life. It also explained her thyroid cancer twenty years ago.

Crystal changed her plans

Because she was in good shape she decided against a bone marrow transplant choosing an experimental drug instead. This meant no hospital stays and much less pain. It also meant that she was left more to her own devices.

Crystal´s joyful journey

What Crystal needed was absolute trust in her recovery. That is easier said than done. But she was willing to do what it took.

  • Willing to look at everything that needed looking at
  • Asking the big questions about herself

Equally as important was that she knew that she could only succeed when she brought more joy into her life. This is why she calls this journey joyful.

In her journey she uses her big creative and psychic abilities to

  • Get aware of her energy at any given moment
  • Question everything she does if it is to her greatest benefit
  • Change what she senses brings back the toxic energies that caused the cancer

Her friends and family are confronted with a very different Crystal, one who has to put herself first. They have to do without her continuous support. Instead she needs them to continually support her. This is not an easy adjustment to make. And not everybody is happy about it.

Crystal is very sensitive. She feels my and my husband´s constant support. The downside is that she also senses the fears and misgivings of her friends and family. That is to be expected. But it is not easy to cope with.

An inside job

Crystal takes full responsibility for herself thus enabling herself to make changes in the first place. I am sitting in the back seat during her journey, accompanying her. But she is at the steering wheel.

My husband and I are monitoring her. He is supporting her with the tricky task of using her new drug to her greatest benefit. I check her balance and look what else we need to be aware of. 

We talk several times a week. She shares what she is working on and gets my input. I share my ideas and she employs what works for her.

What has Crystal changed?

  • She lives much more in the moment.
  • She creates and experiences much more joy: Even in her daily chores like shopping and housekeeping.
  • She is recreating the connections to her family members. She is discovering the many entanglements of her traumas that have shaped these relationships.
  • She reconnects with people that are good for her.
  • She continues to forget that she is sick. It shows how important the balance between determination and letting-go is.
  • She is working on not pushing. Which is hard when you have pushed yourself all your life.

With her way to tackle this new life journey she has a good chance to create many more happy years.

Pictures: Pixabay and Private

© Inge Schumacher

Channeling and the Shift in Consciousness

A lot of the information I use for my personal development I have learned through channelled material. For me this is an important source of information besides the hundreds of books I read on all kinds of topics.

What is channeling?

There is a lot of information about channeling on the Internet: hundreds of books and lots of channelled material. Channeling seems to be mainstream, at least in the esoteric corner of the world.

Channeling is communication between humans and non-physical entities. It connects a living person, a medium, with a being in consciousness that does not have a physical body. They establish a communication channel through which information is exchanged.

Some background information

We are so much more than the person we see in the mirror each morning.

We have a body that is linked to this earth and we have a soul that is linked to this body. Our soul goes back to where we come from when our body dies taking with it all we have experienced and learned. Nothing is lost.

The soul is part of our higher self. Our higher self is part of consciousness, connected to everything that is. I call this higher self “essence”.

Some things we can only experience when we have a body. Emotions for example –   emotions are signals of the body. Or touch. That is why we choose to live lives in bodies and furnish them with a soul that is part of our essence.

Because we want to experience and learn a lot we choose to have many different lives, in all kinds of environments. We also agree to forget that we come from essence and are part of consciousness. We accept these veils of separation as part of the deal.

This way we live our life with full intensity not being sidetracked.

I learned about this in channelled material. I found it in other sources, too. You don´t have to believe me. I just want you to keep an open mind for info that might help you.

What happens when the veils of separation dissolve?

Alzheimer patients experience an uncontrollable thinning of the veils. I will never forget an old lady telling me that she stopped commenting on all the strange stuff only she sees every day. Here awareness is not safely anchored in this reality any more. That makes it difficult for her to function in it.

The shift in consciousness

One explanation for the rising number of channels is the shift in consciousness.

Every being in this dimension has, on a subjective level, agreed to evolve to another level. We seem to be bored and yearn for something new. So we decided to shift gears. This means that the veils of separation are thinning slowly. We become more aware of all we are and where we come from. This shift has been prepared for over 100 years and gained momentum 20 years ago. It will last until approximately 2075. Nobody knows what the world will look like then.

We change our basic orientation

  • From intellect to intuition
  • From concentration on the outside to the inside
  • From the mass to the individual

Some view this as a change to the female. Why? Because we think of these attributes as female. Our history has been dominated until now by male energy.

What are indicators of the shift?

Changes due to the shift are becoming more apparent. Things that are happening currently motivate us to broaden our world-view:

  • International connection via the Internet
  • Climate change
  • Corona Virus

What we are learning:

  • How connected we all are
  • We question the status quo
  • We realise that we are creating our reality

Consciousness wants to be helpful

The shift in consciousness is the reason for more essences to come forward and offer information to support us. We are going in a new direction and we have no experience with that at all. In my opinion we can use all the help we can get.

Our job in this shift is: Getting to know ourselves. Only then we can distinguish between what we create and all that we become aware of from behind the veils. We need to stay rooted firmly in our reality and not lose touch like the Alzheimer patient in the example above.

I have been working on getting more aware for more than twenty years. And I still have a long way to go. It is a journey to self that is not always easy but very rewarding because I create more freedom:

  • Freedom to be me and to express myself
  • Freedom of choice because I am aware of my goals and values
  • I understand better why I am doing what I am doing
  • I know that I am not the victim but the creator of my life

Is channeling a viable source of information?

Since all channelled information goes through the belief systems of the medium we have to take it with more than a grain of salt.

That is why when engaging channelled information it is very important to have our internal bullshit-o-meter on high alert: much like when listening to Trump or Fox News. Everything that we hear needs to be checked against our intuition and gut feeling.

My experience with channels

20 years ago my husband engaged a local channel to see what channeling was all about. He came back disillusioned. This woman did not say anything concrete, wobbled with her body and was expensive. Never again, he said.


At the time we were reading the Seth books. Seth was a well known channelled entity (by Jane Roberts) in the 20th century. He dictated many books on the nature of personality spreading the idea that we create our own reality.

I have problems to digest the Seth information. I can read it and understand it on the surface but it does not stick.


This changed when we discovered Elias about fifteen years ago. Mary Ennis has been channeling Elias for twenty-five years. You can read about him on the Elias website where sessions are shared free of charge. Elias was incarnated as Oscar Wilde for example.

Oscare Wilde by Wikimedia

Elias offers information to reduce the trauma of the shift. I mostly get what he says, but I still don´t believe everything I hear. I have been incorporating many of his tips in my daily life and I write about them in my blogs.

How to use channelled information

My advice is to take the information that you feel comfortable with, play with it and test it.

In the table I have put together some of the popular channels for you to check out.

ChannelChannelerWebsiteCurrently active
EliasMary EnnisElias WebsiteYes
SethJane RobertsCheck the booksNo
Abraham HicksEsther HicksAbraham Hicks You tubeYes
BasharDarryl AnkaBasharYes
Archangel MichaelChannelled by many people Example Natalie Glasson
KryonLee CarolKryonYes  
Channelled messages 2021Examples of a google searchChanelled messages 

I have spoken to four different channels. They all have a different agenda. Some are more accurate than others, meaning the information is more distorted by the medium´s beliefs than others. What I do is I pick out the info that resonates with me.

I want you to keep an open mind when searching for information that helps you to become more aware. For me talking to people, reading books on personal development and channeling seems to be the right mix.

Pictures: Pixabay, private, Wikimdia

©Inge Schumacher

My energy-work

One of the main goals of my life is to help people find their true selves so that they can create the reality they want to thrive in.

My job doing energy-work is what I do best: Supporting people on their unique paths. This makes me happy. My talent for working with the energy-body helps me to develop my own kind of healing. (You can read this article in German here)

I started with my energy-work in 2007. I opened my practise and got certified as a healing practitioner by the German health authorities.

I help people to help themselves

My clients come to me for help when they get stuck. They have bodily symptoms, psychological problems or unsolved questions. We work together at solving those. I use my high sensitivity and my considerable experience to offer insights, inspiration and healing.

There are no secrets

Everybody can feel energy: We can feel when somebody is looking at us. Some call this intuition or gut feeling. All of us have this ability; it is part of our basic equipment. Often we use the information gleaned from the energy around us without being aware of doing it.

Energy is everywhere and theoretically we can access all kinds of information. But there is so much information that we need a well functioning search engine to find the relevant answers to our questions.

Don´t be afraid!

Some clients believe that I have the ability to see their secrets just by looking at them. This is not the case. It is hard work for me to find the information I need. I concentrate on what is directly connected to the issues of my clients.

I use my tensor for these explorations. The energy-body gives me clues. This way I collect information, which helps me to explore further.

Work with my tensor

The tensor helps me getting information that are beyond my normal senses. It is a biofeedback device. This is why the info I get is very subjective and needs to be taken with more than a grain of salt.

A great advantage of my kind of work is that I get a fresh look at a blockage or a problem, a new perspective. This helps my clients to evaluate new aspects of situations and come to new insights.


A mother was here with her eldest daughter. Prior to her birth the mother suffered many miscarriages. She held on to this child with every fibre of her being. I could see that in her energy.

It was helpful for both of them to get clear about that: The daughter was happy to feel like the much loved child she is. And the mother could understand better why it was so hard for her to let her 11-year-old go.  

I also work with touch

I also work on blockages in the energy-body and organs by touch. I use reflexology for example. How we create our sessions my clients and I decide during our work. I use a treatment table that I can also take with me on house calls.

What my energy-work has to do with personal development

1. My personal development

The more I get to know and accept myself the more sensitive I become and the better I can support my clients. This is a big motivation for me.

I write blog articles about personal development where I share my insights and give lots of examples and exercises. My blog on personal development is in German. Sometimes I translate articles – like this one – for my international clients.

2. The personal development of my clients

I help my clients to start changes to achieve their goals. I don´t want them to come to me with the same problem over and over. Even if that would be easily earned money it is much more fun to show them ways to help themselves. I offer my input without expectations and I don´t take over their responsibility. What they take home and implement is solely their choice.

Energy-work is very individual  

Energy-work is very different for everybody and that makes my sessions with every client new and interesting. The more experience I have the more I understand how individual healthcare is.  

Example: I supported a client with cancer

When his cancer came back after a few years he asked for my help and we discussed what kind of support he needed from me. He was very clear about what he wanted. He also did not expect any miracles. I was part of his support system, with his doctors, physiotherapist and help in the house.

Who I don´t want to work with

I have refused working with clients with cancer who did not want to employ conventional medicine even though their beliefs told another story.

Sadly we are experts at tricking ourselves. That can have dire consequences when we deal with serious diseases. We can create massive problems when we ignore these beliefs.

He who heals is right

I believe in conventional medicine. We have great treatments today and we should use them. We have the choice to get help form different sources. The only thing that is important is that our choice fits to us. Sometimes this is not so easy to find out. Then it is wise to get help and try different avenues.

Energetic house cleaning

A lot of people react very sensitively to energies in their environment. They sleep badly and don´t feel comfortable. Here the energetic cleaning of house, apartment and property can help. These energies are very difficult to objectively see. This is why the subjective feeling of the inhabitants are so important. I harmonize the energies when I visit the property.

Example: Moving house

Often people contact me who have moved recently. They cannot pinpoint it but something feels wrong with their new home. When this persists and nothing else helps they come to me.

It is important that you trust your perception. When you have the recurring feeling that something is off then you are right.

My experiences with energetic house cleaning

I have been to many different properties, lots, houses and apartments. Every place is different and I never know what I will find. So far I could always help.

My energy-work does not have anything to do with miracles or magic

Who knows me personally knows that I am a pragmatic. I would not be comfortable working in an ivory tower. My family and my humour are the solid base for my energy-work. My daily life with normal household chores like washing, cleaning and cooking keeps me real.

I am just doing my job albeit an unusual one.

I meet my clients on the same level

I also have my issues that I am working on like everybody else. I also engage help when I am stuck.

Through my work I can see how wonderful and unique everyone is. I am happy for every progress and every new insight my clients have.

You work best with me when you are searching for

  • Support to get out of an impasse
  • New information and a peak behind the curtains
  • Respectful cooperation
  • Strong support and inspiration

You can profit a lot when you are ready

  • For change
  • Open for new ideas
  • To take responsibility for yourself
  • Humour is helpful but not required

When you believe I could be helpful please contact me. I work internationally with video-calls. I am looking forward to meeting you.

Pictures: private

© Inge Schumacher


Responsibility comes up constantly in my daily life. What am I responsible for and do I really want that are questions I have been looking into for some time.

What is responsibility?

„If you have responsibility for something or someone, or if they are your responsibility, it is your job or duty to deal with them and to take decisions relating to them.“ (From Collins dictionary)

For me responsibility is one answer to the gift of life.

As the oldest of four children I have learned to act responsibly early. This is perhaps the reason why I have a tendency to feel responsible easily. I am often the first one to volunteer thus adding more responsibility.

I like to take responsibility

It is natural for me to also have the greater good in mind. This has probably why I am working as a healer.

I have collected many interesting experiences volunteering. I was

  • Caring for disabled youth
  • Working in an international student exchange program
  • Helping in my children´s schools
  • Organizing a polling station
  • 5 years as a lay judge
  • Mentee for refugees

Responsibility for our children

I used to believe that we as parents have the lone responsibility for our children. Now I know that even a baby makes choices and has some responsibility for itsself.

I am aware that I am quick to interfere when my children do something differently than I see fit. My husband is cooler in that respect, which is good for our children. I always fight with myself to accept and support the decisions of my children best as I can. At the same time I want to live my values of caring and parenting. This is a constant struggle that I probably share with many parents.

Example: How many rules does a family need? 

This depends on the children. Our girls honoured the few rules we set. I learned how different that can be when we had a French exchange student living with us for three months. She needed stricter rules for Internet use, coming home etc.

Parenting changes drastically with puberty. Form then on we can only offer our help and set an example.

My son was less than ten years old when he started rooting for more autonomy. He needs different very parenting than the girls. I can only try and experiment. This is quite a challenge for me.

Thankfully my intuition tells me that my children will succeed on their paths. They will probably do this much differently than I imagine. I am still working on really getting to that.

Responsibility in my practise

I have the privilege to accompany people in difficult situations. I help them to find their unique paths. They are unique individuals who each live very different lives.

I don´t take over their responsibility during our work. My clients always stay responsible for themselves. I am a reliable supporter as long as they need it. This is why they can contact me between our sessions. I see that I am doing that well because my clients don´t become dependent on me.

Responsibility for yourself

I had to learn that I am only able to support others efficiently when I take care of myself, too.


I regularly take on pro bono work. At the moment I support a friend who is battling with cancer. I look carefully how I can do this without overwhelming myself. We are both experimenting with what works best for both of us and are still figuring this out as we go along.

Why is it important to take responsibility for myself?

I have learned that

  • I have to look after myself before I can be really there for others
  • I harm myself when I don´t do that
  • Life is much easier when I feel well

The inside is as important as the outside

I realised that I had to take care of me when I had a depression in my mid-thirties. It forced me to finally give attention to my inner self.

In my daily life I try now to be more aware of:

  • My inner balance
  • What I am doing and why
  • My personal development

This way I get to know and accept myself better. I am aware of my life goals and values and honour them. This makes me more content and balanced.

Of course I am still much better in theory than in practise: Life is all about applying and trying.

We all need the courage to look where it hurts. In these Corona times there are a lot of opportunities to practise that.

Trauma and Corona

A lot of people are becoming aware of their traumas at the moment. The Corona pandemic and the changing of many structures are causing that. These traumas want our attention because they block our personal development.

Traumas keep us in place like rubber bands: We move a little and wham! we are right back where we started.

Indicators of trauma

  • The feeling of getting nowhere
  • Again this situation!
  • Constant discontentment  
  • Feeling helpless

Why do I know that? I not only work with my clients on their traumas. I addressed some traumas of my own and got help moving through then during the last year.

Responsibility for humanity

Besides the responsibilities for us and our children we are also responsible for the greater good. Without that our society could not function.

Example: Refugees in Germany

When over a million refugees flooded into Germany in 2015 we Germans surpassed ourselves. Without the millions of volunteers who took responsibility fast our social system would have collapsed.

For three years I have volunteered in a refugee camp near my home. I still am a Mentor of a single mother.

I was surprised by the engagement and creativity of my fellow Germans. I understood: When a lot of us take and share responsibility we can change the world easily.

Responsibility for our planet

We might not be welcome on this planet much longer. The earth is struggling for a new equilibrium. It is our responsibility to change our ways. She ideally will find a new balance where humankind still has a place.

Initiating change is not easy or comfortable. Change only seems to start when we are uncomfortable enough.

Putting us first is egotistic?

A lot of people think that putting yourself first is egotistic and therefore bad. In my opinion this egotism is necessary for us to become a happy and productive part of society. We are not able to use our whole potential otherwise.

Living with uncertainty

We don´t have any experience with climate change and pandemics. We don´t know what the future will bring and what we should do.

We have the responsibility to acknowledge that feeling helpless is okay.

We have to experiment a lot. This means failing again and again. How else should we find what works? The important thing is not to give up.

I experience again and again how resilient we humans are; as individuals and as species. This is why I am still optimistic. We have all we need to meet the challenges ahead.

When you support need on your path please contact me for a free consultation.

Pictures: Pixabay und private

© Inge Schumacher

Expectations Cause Disappointments

“I don´t have any expectations”. I often hear that: From clients, my children and myself. This is so wrong: We always have expectations but often we are not aware of them.

Expectations are everywhere

When I analyse a situation that went wrong, I often discover expectations that were not fulfilled.

What are expectations?

We all have an idea how things should work. We create problems when other people don´t behave according to these ideas. This makes us frustrated and disappointed. And this is often the basis for conflicts.

When we become more aware of where expectations are hiding we can do a lot for our inner and outer peace.

Where can expectations hide?

We have expectations in every aspect of our lives. We can find an equal amount of expectations for us. In:

  • Private Life
    • Family
    • Friends
  • Job
    • Colleagues
    • Bosses
  • Public
    • Public transport
    • Sports

Identifying and letting go of expectations can be difficult

  • We have learned to react automatically to the often unspoken expectations of our parents.
  • This way we are trained to expect that our expectations will be met.
  • We don´t learn anything by the many disappointments we experience and simply put the blame for our frustration elsewhere.

Signal words for uncovering expectations

When you hear these words with an exclamation mark (!) or use them yourself you can be pretty sure that there are expectations involved.

  • Should (You should have…!)
  • Have to (You have to understand, that…!)
  • But (But, everybody has to…!)
  • Anyway (Anyway, we still have to…!)

1. Example of uncovering expectations: Garbage Separation

Waste separation is a big issue in Germany. We separate our garbage in 4 different containers:

  • Paper
  • Plastic
  • Organic
  • Rest

I have the expectation that my family separates our garbage diligently. I have given them an example for decades. Sadly my expectations are often disappointed:

  • When the best of all husbands is not in the mood he puts the wrappings that belong in the container for plastic in the rest garbage.
  • My children sometimes randomly put the garbage anywhere and pretend not knowing where it belongs.

This makes me crazy!

I have tried to explain and to scold. This did not help at all. The result was that everybody was annoyed.  I sat down with my husband to analyse the problem. We found out:

  • I would like to have the garbage separated properly.
  • My family does not like to feel bossed around.

Now I resort the garbage afterwards when I need it. I have to get used to 95% being enough. There is more peace in our home now concerning garbage separation. This feels better for everybody.

2. Example: Reliability

When I promise something, I try to follow through on that promise. When I run into difficulties I give an early warning. Being reliable is important to me. Interestingly I automatically assume that everybody has the same attitude towards reliability. Of course that is not the case:

Members of my family often make promises they don´t keep. This is hurting me because I feel I am not important enough for them to keep their promises. I question my own self-worth when this happens.

It took some time for me to figure out that my family does not make that connection. I am important for them whether they keep their promises or not.

To avoid disappointments I did almost everything at home alone for a timeframe. I did not want to keep doing that. Now I am working on becoming more conscious of my expectations and on letting them go.

Living your own values

These examples show that I implicitly expect my family to live my values. Even though I am aware that everybody has different values and is entitled to them, I am still disappointed when they don´t live mine.

Strategies to work with your expectations:

1. Getting aware of expectations

It is still hard for me to identify all open and hidden expectations in a situation. The only way to get better at that is to keep at it and work on being more aware in daily life.

2. Communication

Example: Creating choices

I want to reduce the plastic waste my family produces. I include everybody in this endeavour: I tell my family that we are starting an experiment. There is no pressure to take part. The family members react positively.

We have tried and switched from liquids to bars of shampoo, conditioner and soap. Only one family member is not with us yet. But that is okay. I did not have any expectations and I am positively surprised.

3. Staying calm

I try to make my requests calmly. I use expressions like ”It is important to me…”. That way even when they don´t agree with me my family is much more willing to support me. It is the same the other way round, also.

What happens when we bitch and moan?

We show that the others are not right and not enough. They are deficient. Who reacts positively to being belittled? Why do we even expect to be heard? 

I still catch myself trying to get my expectations fulfilled by bitching and moaning; without success, of course.

Expectations people have of me

When I realise that somebody expects something of me that is unclear or I am not inclined to follow I ask for clarification. Getting it out in the open is an important step.

1. Children

I ask my children: What exactly do you want from me? Sometimes they don´t know themselves. They only have the vague feeling that Mom should make everything better.

2. Expectations of partners

My husband reacts badly to pressure and expectations: He ignored our 20th anniversary, which hurt me a lot. When I was able to talk calmly about it, he explained that he hates these musts. I get that. Sadly he did not communicate that before.

Since then I have celebrated our anniversaries alone. I spend this day reminiscing about the many years we have spent together. This is important to me and I can do that alone easily. I only had to get rid of the belief that you can only celebrate anniversaries as a couple.  

3. Expectations of myself

I still have problems with too high expectations of myself. How do I know that? There are too many times I am not content with myself. I still have to do some more work on self-acceptance.

What I have learned about disappointed expectations

  • People rarely want to hurt me.
  • They may have other priorities or values.
  • We are not on this earth to fulfil the expectations of others.
  • We are here to get to know ourselves so we can create our reality LINK in an efficient way.

Why I love experiments

With experiments I trick myself. Why? Experiments don´t have a clear outcome. That means I have less expectations to begin with and much more fun.

Having less expectations causes more surprises

The more I manage to let go of expectations the more I am positively surprised.

How does that work?

I set a goal and start small actions. Often other people get involved at some point. I try to reduce my expectations of them as much as I am able to.

This way they can contribute more in their own natural way and help me to achieve my goal more efficiently. Sometimes the end product looks very different form what I have envisioned. But this works very well for me. It is fun, I am more in my flow and create more ease.

My calendar is full of video-sessions of my son and his homework. A year ago that would have been unthinkable. The Corona-Lockdown is a good example that expectations only make life complicated.

What are your experiences with expectations?

Pictures: Pixabay and private

©Inge Schumacher